Culture
Shock
Things I
Learned from Reading Culture Books
Most of the time when we thing of
culture shock we think of things like “Don’t drink the water” or “What? We have
to pay to use the bathroom?” But besides
learning to “Mind the Gap” and “Belize it” and other terminology we also have
to look at the big picture: the thoughts, relationships, values, and issues
behind how people act.
For LEAMIS I was required to read
three cross-cultural training books to prepare me for my upcoming mission trip
to Uganda. Now I would like to take some
pride in not being a newbie having worked cross-culturally having been to three continents and
few countries around the global before; however, God loves a humble person and
there is always more to be learned. Plus,
I believe the greater your desire to learn the better teacher you will become. So I dove into these books as if my
livelihood depended on it. And might I
say, those books greatly benefited me.
Although it was at times not without a few tears and frustration as
well.
The first book I was required to read
was Foreign
to Familiar by Sarah A. Lanier.
This cute, easy reading book was the first to open my eyes to the big
picture in culture themes. It gently
introduced me to differences in cold- and hot-climate cultures, although I do
recall being angry at the author at first when I thought she was taking
sides. My angry was largely unfounded
and by chapter 3 I couldn’t put that cute, little pint size book down. I strongly encourage everyone to read this
book!
While I learned many things from
reading Foreign to Familiar, for the sake of time I’ll share with you
just a few things that stood out and why, along with my reflections and how
this information will challenge the way I interact with people in Africa.
In chapter 1, I learned that
“hot-climate” cultures are relationship based verses my native “cold-climate”
culture that is very task oriented. What
stood out to me in this short chapter is that the United States (the Northern
half, at least) is in the minority when it comes to this classification. Most of the rest of the world has
“hot-climate” tendencies. Since I
consider myself to be a “cold-climate” person, unfortunately just about any
mission trip out of the country was going to require more effort for me to
bridge the culture gap than if a “hot-climate” person visited another
“hot-climate” culture. I also noted that
“hot-climate” culture could be similar in rural settings, even if the weather
itself is cold, and that “cold-climate” and urban settings were similar.
In chapters 3, I learned that because
“hot-climate” cultures are focused on making and keeping relationships they
might not always say what they mean (ie. communicate indirectly). For my “cold-climate” mind this is lying or
at least not being very honest. Usually
I speak to convey information as accurately as possible so if my friend asks if
I like her new boyfriend my job as a friend is to tell her my mind.
However, I need to remember that
while I am in a “hot-climate” culture such as Africa people might not answer
with what they actually think but might answer with what they think I want to hear. Their goal would be to be polite and friendly
even if they answer is -in my mind- inaccurate.
Misunderstanding them I could feel hurt when I learn from another person
that they truly don’t like my idea for a life size bird house in the
backyard. I also have to be careful that
I am not to direct or forward in my communication with them less I should hurt
them by saying whatever is on my mind- my “go-to” in any conversation.
The last thing I want to share, and
this barely touches the surface of all the nuggets of truth this book provides,
is that “hot-climate” cultures are group-oriented, live in the moment, and
spontaneous. This is totally different
from my “cold-climate” individualistic background where things like visiting
someone are planned out in advance, where time and schedules are valued, where
privacy especially in one’s own home is sacred and where during a business
meeting we- shockingly- talk about business (vs. personal life).
In addition to being from a
“cold-climate” culture, I am a privacy-loving introvert. My normal “down time” away from people might
in Africa be seen as shyness -in which case they might try all the harder to
involve me in whatever is happening (and misunderstand my direct “no” to mean
“ask again”) or worse be seen as rejecting them -which I might not catch that
they are hurt because if I would to directly ask them they probably wouldn’t
tell me -verbally, at least. Argh! Understanding another culture can take so
much work, but I am so up for that challenge!
The next book I read was When
Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor…And Yourself
by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert. The
first thing I would like to say about this book is that I don’t think I have
battled with any book more than this one- ever.
I wrote in this book, and not just in the cute little space next to the
numerous discussion questions either- I’m taking in the margins, on the sides,
between the chapters, even between the lines as I either disapproved or
approved with what the authors were saying.
Let me bring you to the front lines of the battle and share with you
things that stood out from each chapter.
Before the Introduction: Yes, I know
the Reviews, Foreword, and Preface are not technical chapters but I just
thought it was a bit egocentric to put quite all those raving reviews before the book. After finishing the book, I realized why-
they needed you to believe the book was worth your time because other people
liked it. My advice? Let the reader decide. But I digressed.
Chapter 1: My first impression
reading this chapter was “The authors believe Jesus came down to earth just to
help the poor people live in a heavenly-like kingdom on earth.” The words “cult” floated through my
mind. Eventually I discovered that the
authors and I agree that Jesus came to earth to save the poor-in-spirit (anyone
who is affected by sin- which is all of us) but I definitely spend some serious
time in God’s Word discovering what Jesus said about His purpose while reading
this chapter.
Chapter 2: Since I already knew that
poverty wasn’t only a lack of material things (poverty also has social and
psychological implications) I think the thing that stood out to me was that
poverty can be defined as any of these four relationships
not working: relationship with God, relationship with self (self-worth),
relationship with others, and relationship with the rest of creation (being good
stewards of all God has given us). I
never really thought about these things being called a relationship. To my Wisconsin mind it’s an interaction and you can always do something to improve
your living conditions. But the book
hints that many cultures are trapped in fatalist -the belief that you can do
little to improve your own fate.
Chapter 3: Here is where I started to
agree with the book a little more as I too believe that everyone has sinned and
we can all help each other and glorify God together. The only thing that really stood out in this
chapter was this was one of the few places in the book I agreed without
reserves.
Chapter 4: The diagram on page 104
(just think, only 100 more pages to go) of this chapter was probably the most
helpful diagram in the book. It showed
that relief aid (doing things for people) is good for disaster relief but then
you want to involve people in their
rehabilitation and development as much as possible so they don’t become
dependent on you and so the results are lasting. I did struggle with the fact that this book
seems to go to great lengths to say, to put it crudely, you are nothing special
and have nothing that important to offer anyone.
Chapter 5: This chapter was a little
more fun for me because it gives you some practical ways to involve the people you
are trying to help. What I gained from
this section was the importance of using everyone’s
talents and abilities, which the book labels as “assets.”
Chapter 6: I was pleasantly surprise
to noted that in many of the organizations I support outsiders work together
with the local people (as opposed to doing to or for the people) to bring about
change. Also what surprised me is that
my action plan or “answer” for the opening exercise was quite similar to was
the book said to do, although with my “cold-climate” background I could have
focused a little more on relationships with others in my action plan (though I
did focus on a relationship with Jesus in my plan.)
Chapter 7: The most depressing
chapter by far. What stood out in this
chapter was just how against short
term mission trips the authors were.
They spend most of the chapter telling the evils and harm brought about
by short term missions (STMs). I guess I
can see their point of view on some of this (I think we have all see a too
bubbly teenager go on a mission trip to “save the poor, helpless people” by
washing their clothes for them or whatever. -That’s a mighty high horse you got
there). But I just don’t think STMs are to
be avoided at all cost- as long as you have the proper mindset, of course.
Chapter 8: What stood out in chapter
8 was the importance of “soft skills” in the workplace (and in sociality,
actually) and, ironically, how little emphasis the world places on this during
the formative years. I learned “soft
skills” (things like respect, good work ethic, honest, being on time, having a
positive attitude, etc.) from my parents.
But what if you have no good role models in your life? The education system (ie. government, in this
country) misses the importance of teaching those kinds of things.
Chapter 9: Ah, the finally chapter,
and one of my favorites as it dives head first into economics and
finances. The Saving and Credit
Association set up particularly caught my eye as a good method of increasing a
person’s income by pooling local people’s money together to form a sort of
self-banking system.
One word of caution on When
Helping Hurts: while the book can be a very helpful to read in the
sense that it may open your eyes to new perspectives and prevent you from
harming others will your good
intentions, it may not be so considerate when dealing with your feelings as it tends to come off bold or even condescending at
times. Reading this book with a
supporting friend or in a group may be beneficial in processing the information
as well as protecting yourself from unnecessary self-defeating thoughts.
This book points out that I need to
focus on relationships (the four talked about in Chapter 2) as being the most
important part of any mission trip and- dare I say- life? That was my “aha” moment. Our relationship with God is, of course, most
important but sometimes my tasks, agendas, and lists get in the way of my
relationships with others. On my trip to
Africa I need to be careful not to focus too much on the projects, workshops,
etc. and focus on building relationships because that is (probably) what is
more importance to them. I can imagine
my task-oriented brain thinking it’s in the Twilight Zone at first.
Both these book underline the
different between being task-oriented, placing value on getting things done,
and being relationship-oriented, placing value on building relationships and
keeping in harmony with them. As I
mentioned above, I am task-oriented, and as such I will need to put special
time and effort into developing relationships with the people I meet.
The final book I was assigned to read
was called Figuring Foreigners Out by Craig Storti. I highly recommend this workbook style guide
to understanding cross-cultural thought processes, value systems and
communication styles. Let me walk you through each chapter briefly and share
with you what stood out to me and why.
Before Chapter 1: As usual, I read my
books cover to cover and the lack of “bloatware” and down to earth, non-judgmental
approach to this book was a refreshing change from When Helping Hurts.
Chapter 1: I love the fact that right
off the bat we get to dive into exercises as we learn about differencing values
and relationships. This chapter put into
words things that have been lurking in my subconscious. Such as how behavior is what we assign it to
be, that is what might be considered bad behavior in one culture might be
considered to be acceptable or even good in another culture or vice versa. That stood out to me as a prime source for
misunderstanding another culture and a great thing to keep in mind that my
behavior might seem strange to others too.
Also since there are three main things that shape our behavior: human
nature, culture, and personal tendencies, it’s important to recognize that even
when you think you understand the culture a person may act in an unpredictable
fashion.
Chapter 2: This chapter covers the
bulk of the book and there is so much I learned from it; however, for
space I will only mention one revelation I discovered as I analyzed this
chapter. I, being from the United States,
strive to be self-reliant (individualistic), fair to society as a whole by
looking at things objectively (universalism, what is right is always right), efficient
in the use of my time (monochronic), and take full responsible for most things
that happen to me- whether that be failure or success (internal locus of control). Why is this such as revelation? Because, as the book points out, in some
parts of the world this is exactly
opposite of what I “should” value.
(I say “should” because much of behavior -unless specified by God- is
not right or wrong, just different).
With all our culture’s focus on self-responsible, I am beginning to see
why I often feel so stressed out!
Chapter 3: Here I learned many things
on the perils of navigating indirect verses direct communication styles. Overall three things stood out to me: the
importance of looking for indicators that an indirect person is trying to tell
me something “between the lines,” the importance of being aware that as a
native direct communicator I could inadvertently ask or answer a question
without knowing it, and that so much
(spoiler alert: about 55%) of what a person is saying comes from nonverbal communication. Being unintentional about these things could
get me in real trouble when trying to communication with a different culture
group.
Chapter 4: As I will be working together
with people from culture groups than my own in Africa, this chapter on interactions
in the workplace provide helpful insight.
How people interact with their superiors and perceive failure and
success stood out the most to me. For
me failure is expected when you’re trying something new, a normal result of
taking a risk, and need not be avoid.
But I need to understand that trying something new might be difficult or
scary for some people who are used to taking less risks. Also I need to prepare for the fact that I
may need to defer to an authority figure when in my mind it might not be necessary.
Chapter 5: Finally, we get to put
together the pieces! As I review what I
learned over the course of the book I discovered two things: it was a lot
easier for me to understand there is a different between describing a situation
and perceiving (interpreting) it, and that, hopeful, through the help of these
three books I am now on my way to deliberately being sensitivity to other
people’s cultures- whether I understand/agree them or not. And there in that last chapter was my greatest
“aha” moment.
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